Lorne Michaels Pleads w/ The Beatles to Play SNL 4 $$$

Here's the transcript of Lorne Michaels' original on air offer to the Beatles to get back together on the show.

April 24, 1976

BEATLES OFFER

(OPEN ON: LORNE AT DESK. THERE IS ONLY ONE CAMERA USED THROUGHOUT)

LORNE:

Hi. I'm Lorne Michaels, the producer of "Saturday Night." Right now, we're being seen by approximately twenty-two million viewers, but please allow me, if I may, to address myself to just four very special people -- John, Paul, George and Ringo -- the Beatles. Lately, there have been a lot of rumors to the effect that the four of you might be getting back together. That would be great. In my book, the Beatles are the best thing that ever happened to music. It goes even deeper than that. You're not just a musical group, you're a part of us. We grew up with you. It's for this reason that I'm inviting you to come on our show. Now, we've heard and read a lot about personality and legal conflicts that might prevent you guys from reuniting. That's something which is none of my business. That's a personal problem. You guys will have to handle that. But it's also been said that no one as yet has come up with enough money to satisfy you. Well, If it's money you want, there's no problem here. The National Broadcasting Company has authorized me to offer you this check to be on our show.

(HOLDS UP CHECK) A certified check for $3,000. Here it is, right here. Dave -- can we get a close-up on this? Which camera? Oh, this one. (CAMERA MOVES IN TO SHOW CHECK) Here it is, a check made out to you, the Beatles, for $3,000. All you have to do is sing three Beatle songs.

(SINGS)

She loves you - yeah, yeah, yeah ...

That's $1,000 right there. You know the words. It'll be easy. Like I said, this is made out to the Beatles -- you divide it up any way you want. If you want to give Ringo less, it's up to you. I'd rather not get involved. I'm sincere about this. If it helps you to reach a decision to reunite, it's well worth the investment. You have agents. You know where I can be reached.

Just think about it, okay? (HOLDS UP CHECK AGAIN)

Thank you.

***************************************************************************

Lorne Micheals made a second offer to the Fabs:

This was aired on May 22, 1976. The host was Buck Henry, and Musical guest was Gordon Lightfoot.

LORNE:

Hi, I'm Lorne Micheals, producer of Saturday Night. A short while ago I went on the air and addressed myself to John, Paul, George, and Ringo--the Beatles. At that time I invited them to come on our show, and told them that I was authorized by NBC to pay them in the sum of three thousand dollars for just three songs. Well, about a month has gone by. We've heard from the Monkees, Freddy and the Dreamers, Peter and Gordon, Herman's Hermits, the Cowsills, and Lulu; but still no word from the Beatles. I'm not discouraged and neither is NBC. Because of the recent acclaim we've received, I have the weight to go to the network and convince them that it is worth it for them to sweeten the pot. John, Paul, George, and Ringo--NBC is now prepared to up the original offer from three thousand, to three thousand, two hundred. Can we get a close-up of the check? Which camera is it? As you can see, it's a check made out to you, The Beatles.

Off the record, this increase comes to an extra fifty dollars for each of you. That's if you split it equally--I'm still not sure what your situation with Ringo is. Also, NBC has decided that they will take care of your hotel accommodations.

Don Pardo, tell the Beatles what they can expect when they come to get that check for three thousand, two hundred dollars.

DON PARDO:

It'll be my pleasure, Lorne. First of all, the lads from Liverpool will be picked up by a radio-dispatched Checker cab that will whisk them to the Cross Town Motor Inn, located in the heart of New York's fashionable garment district. Once there, they will check in in the 
recently renovated lobby; and then it's off to their rooms via round-the-clock elevator service.They'll be treated like royalty as pitchers of ice water are hand-delivered to their rooms, and they can drink that water from glasses sanitized for their convenience. Oops--Ringo spilled 
a little something on his jacket? No problem--not with prompt forty-eight-hour dry cleaning service! "In by Tuesday, out by Thursday." And let's just put a shine on those shoes, too, with a free shoe shine cloth. And, Lorne, since the Beatles will be staying in separate rooms, the four Mop Tops can speak to each other as much as they want because there is no charge for room-to-room calls. And, after a hard day's night, the Beatles can sleep as late as they like with a leisurely checkout time of 10 A.M. That's the Cross Town Motor Inn, a hotel tradition, hosting New York's visitors since 1971. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Back to you Lorne!

LORNE: 

Thank you, Don Pardo. John, Paul, George, and Ringo, that's where we stand right now. Thirty-two hundred dollars, and free hotel accommodations. Now, it's your move. I've always respected you, and you were always my favorite group, and I always liked Yoko, even at the 
beginning when everyone was having problems with her. I would like to see you do our show, and so would the American people. You know where i can be reached. I'm waiting to hear from you.

These video clips and transcripts are rare and hard to find, they often get taken down, so I have posted them here for you to share and or download with your friends. It's some really funny stuff, hope you like it.